ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he shaved USA in his pubs
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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