i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
