We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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