Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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