i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
