well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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