You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
