people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
