his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
