I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
