Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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