shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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