So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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