he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
