I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
did i just pee glitter
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
