I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
