hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have aggressive nipples.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
