This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
