I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
