I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
