Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
