shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
