I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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