do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
