you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
