You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
