well you can't waste a boner
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
