I'm jealous of your bromance
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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