hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
