I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
