i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
