If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
