the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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