Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
