i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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