Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This baby is an asshole
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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