just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
