I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
