i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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