you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
