if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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