OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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