Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
