so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
