If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
