We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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