Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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