Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
