member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
