Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
